25 Aug An Unexpected Shabbat Walk
Last Friday, our family had some unexpected drama. Shortly before Shabbat, I dropped off my son Yossi in Durham, where he spent Shabbat with his classmates at Chabad of Duke University. While it was getting close to Shabbat, I had a Shabbat package with Challah Dassy had baked, a note and bottle of wine that I wanted to drop off at someone who we knew was going through a challenging time.
Weaving through some rush-hour traffic, I estimated that even with the stop, I would get home about 10 minutes before sundown (it’s preferred to light Shabbat candles 18 minutes before sundown as a buffer, but have until sundown to complete tasks not permitted on Shabbat if necessary). That narrow window is certainly too close for comfort for almost any other week, but given the nature of the circumstance and hoping it would brighten someone’s Shabbat, I took the chance.
I managed to drop off the package, gave a quick but hearty “Shabbat Shalom” to the recipient and proceeded to drive home, still confident I would make it home with a few minutes to spare. That’s when my son Yoni started to scream, “we’re not gonna make it home in time!!”
“Why not? Shkiah (sunset) isn’t until 6:08 and we should definitely be home in time,” I responded.
That’s when he told me that sunset was actually at 5:59, not 6:08. I did the math in my head from when candle lighting was, and realized he was right. I glanced at the clock in the car. It was 5:58!
In all my years I don’t recall ever making such a miscalculation, but now was no time to question how I got the timing off! I quickly pulled into an apartment complex right off the street, placed my phone, wallet and car keys into the pocket of one of the seats in the middle row and turned off the car.
Only issue was that we were over 2 miles away from home and I had 3 of my kids, including 4-year-old Riva, with me. I davened the Mincha (afternoon) prayer and we began the chilly treck back home. (Please note that Jewish law mandates you violate Shabbat in a potentially life-threatening situation, but I did not determine this to fall under that category.)
As a parent, it’s these moments that kids tend to remember years later. Will their dad flip out at the mishap and turn into a ball of nerves (been there, done that!), making for a stressful experience or remain calm and set the tone for the ordeal being an enjoyable and memorable one?
I tried hard to opt for the latter. We sang songs, including the Lecha Dodi, told stories and joked around.
Thank G-d, after about an hour of walking, we returned home to a very anxious but relieved mother and wife! Thankfully, our car was still there when we returned to retrieve it after Shabbat the following night.
Jewish and Chassidic teachings impress on us that every detail of Creation is deliberately designed by G-d and that nothing is by chance. Everything that happens is directed by G-d and is, consequently, supposed to happen.
This is also true in instances of mistakes or us getting stuck in situations we didn’t expect or plan for (click here for an example of this during a snowstorm). Post facto, we can debrief or learn how to be better prepared or equipped for what transpired, but that doesn’t detract from the even being directly ordained by Hashem. In this instance, I was meant to deliver that care package, even if it meant having to walk home and miss shul that evening.
The Torah is also replete with teachings on the precious nature of Shabbat, including the second verse of this week’s Torah portion of Vayakhel, where we are instructed not to violate Shabbat even for important causes, such as the construction of the Mishkan (portable sanctuary used for over 400 years in the desert and Israel before the Holy Temple was built).
Shabbat is the bride of Israel, the soul-mate of the Jewish people. It is one of the most powerful ways to actualize our Jewishness and pass it along to our children. We have remained true to the Shabbat in every place, culture and circumstance of our 4,000-year history has visited — from the glorious days to the darkest of night. In the words of a famous writer, “Even more than the Jews have kept the Shabbat, the Shabbat has kept the Jews.”
I encourage you to light the holy Shabbat candles today before sundown (and for today, to have the safety of those in Ukraine in mind while lighting the candles), to sit down to a festive Shabbat meal and spend some quality time connecting with those around us and with G-d!
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